Dan (Texas Rascals Book 9) Page 14

  “Why, good morning to you, too, son. Did I catch you at a bad time?” his father asked.

  Dan sank into a chair and ran his fingers through his hair. “Sorry, Dad, I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

  “Your mother and I are headed for El Paso on business next week, and we thought we’d stop in Rascal. We’d like to check out this little ranch of yours.”

  Dan held his tongue. His father was putting him down again. What else had he expected? He should have gotten used to it by now.

  “Sure, Dad. Come on down.” He had nothing to hide. He was proud of his ranch and the work they’d accomplished.

  “We don’t want to inconvenience you, son. You don’t want us there, you just say so. I mean, if your place isn’t up to snuff.”

  Dan resented the typical dig. Bristling, he got to his feet. He was not about to let his father push him around anymore. Time to take a stand. Raleigh might have broken his heart, but she hadn’t killed his courage.

  “You get here, Dad. I’ll be proud to show you my place.”

  “Great. We’ll be arriving next Friday. That suit you?” Bill McClintock sounded taken aback.

  Dan grinned, suddenly feeling invincible. “Yeah, Dad. I’ll be looking forward to your visit. Bring it.”

  What had she done?

  Raleigh had thought it would be easier to make Dan believe she didn’t care about him. Instead, she’d made things far worse. She should have told him the truth, admitted that she was afraid, that she needed more time to process her feelings. But he had gone and told her he loved her.

  Too late, she’d lied and told him she didn’t love him when the very opposite was true. But how did she backtrack now?

  It’s for the best. Let him go.

  While her resolve simmered strong, she picked up her cell phone and called Fay. Sucking in a deep breath, she twisted her hair around one finger as she held on to her cell phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Fay?”

  “Raleigh? Is that you?”

  “Uh-huh,” she replied, her voice tremulous.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Caleb’s in the hospital, and Dan and I had a big blowup, so I’ve got to find someplace else for us to live.”

  “What happened to Caleb?” Fay asked, alarmed.

  Raleigh filled her in on both Caleb’s surgery and the fiasco with Dan.

  “I’m so sorry about Caleb. I wish I’d known. I never would have left him alone last night, but he told me he felt fine.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Raleigh assured her. “The doctor said he’ll be okay.”

  “How are you holding up?”

  “I’ve been better.”

  “Too bad things didn’t work out with you and Dan,” Fay sympathized. “I really believed you two might have something wonderful.”

  “I’ve got to get away from here.”

  “Pack up your things and get on over to my trailer, you hear me? You can help me out at the diner again until you find something else.”

  “Oh, Fay, you’re the best friend in the entire world.”

  “Everything will work out just fine, kitten. Don’t give up. Trust me.”

  “Thank you,” Raleigh said and ended the call. Feeling marginally better having sorted out a place to live, she gathered up her purse, her keys, and her resolve, and headed back to the hospital.

  14

  Before her brother was released from the hospital, Pete helped Raleigh move her and Caleb’s meager belongings to Fay’s small mobile home on the outskirts of Rascal. The furniture they had wouldn’t fit in Fay’s trailer, so they stored it in a shed in her backyard.

  Prudently, Dan stayed away during the move. Raleigh hated to inconvenience Fay, but the idea of staying at the ranch even one day longer than necessary motivated her to leave immediately.

  But despite her best efforts to erase him from her memory, Daniel McClintock haunted her thoughts. Determined to steel herself, Raleigh clamped down on her emotions like a bulldog gnawing a rag. After years of denying her true feelings, she found it surprisingly easy to numb herself. She refused to let herself care.

  By Friday, five days after she’d left the ranch, Raleigh was a nervous wreck. Her appetite vanished, and she knew without weighing herself that she’d lost several pounds, but no food enticed her. She had trouble sleeping on an air mattress in the living room, while Caleb slept on the sofa bed, and she woke frequently in the night to stare at the wall, trying to dispel the images of Dan clogging her brain.

  Before going to work, Raleigh stationed Caleb on the couch, remote control in his hand and snacks on the nearby tray. He’d been released from the hospital the day before, and although he still looked ill, he was healing. Her brother had asked about Dan, but Raleigh simply told him they would never be returning to the ranch, then she’d hurried out the door before he demanded to know why.

  “There’s one heck of a sandstorm brewing. You can see it hovering on the horizon. Radio says it’s blowing in hard from New Mexico,” Annie said, wiping down the plastic menus.

  “Yeah.” Fay nodded. “I can smell it.”

  “Are we gonna close if it hits?” Annie asked, stacking up the silverware rolls.

  “Depends on how bad it is,” Fay said.

  Raleigh wondered if Pete or Dan would remember to put the horses in the barn. The sandstorm would make them unruly. They could injure themselves. Not your problem. But she couldn’t help worrying.

  Annie pushed back her chair. “I’m going for a cup of java. Anybody else want one?”

  “None for me, thanks,” Fay said. “Raleigh?”

  “Huh?” She jerked, blinking, then looked at Fay.

  “Annie’s getting coffee, want some?”

  “No.”

  “You were a thousand miles away. A penny for your thoughts.”

  Shrugging, Raleigh propped her chin in her palm. “I’m worried about Dan’s horses.”

  “You miss him, don’t you?”

  “I miss the horses.”

  Fay shook her head. “Raleigh, you don’t have to put up a big front for me. I don’t know what happened between you two, and it’s really none of my business, but I think you’re making a mistake.”

  Raleigh narrowed her eyes. Was she really that transparent?

  “Do you know why your father and I never got married?” Fay asked.

  “Caleb and I always hoped you would.”

  “Believe you me, I wanted to marry Will Travers more than any man on the face of this earth. I loved your pa.”

  “He loved you, too,” Raleigh said.

  “No, kitten, I don’t think he did. Not in the way he loved your mother. He couldn’t get over her, Raleigh. He wouldn’t let himself.”

  “Pa cared about you; I know he did.”

  “He never told me he loved me, and I badly needed to hear those words.”

  “Maybe he was just scared.”

  “Like I wasn’t? No. It was more than that. He couldn’t let go of the past so he could live in the future. You’re like that too. Hanging on to what happened with Jack.”

  Was it true? A spasm of grief rippled through Raleigh at the thought of her father’s self-imposed unhappiness.

  “I hate seeing you make the same mistakes,” Fay went on, “and I can tell you’re plumb miserable. You closed yourself off to love when Jack died. I know your father had a hand in that, too. Don’t deny it; we argued over you. I heard him telling you that you didn’t need a man. That’s why he taught you to shoe horses, so you could be strong and independent. Although he meant well, your pa did you a disservice. While you might not need a man, it sure is okay to want one.”

  The truth of Fay’s words cut deep, making her take a good hard look at herself. But her friend wasn’t about to let up.

  “Then Dan came along and tried to pry you out of your reclusive shell, and you turned your back on him. Just like your pa turned his back on me. It hurts to see history repeating itself.” Fay sighed.

&n
bsp; “I’m so afraid if I let myself love Dan, something awful will happen to him.” Raleigh clasped her hands in her lap to keep them from shaking. “I’m terrified he’ll end up like everyone else I’ve ever loved.”

  “You know something? Your father was so scared of loving me that he wouldn’t even spend the night.” Fay gazed off into the distance, remembering. “He’d come visit awhile, then leave me with empty arms and a lonely bed. Dang it, Raleigh, he broke my heart.” Fay’s voice cracked, and tears glistened in her eyes. Clearing her throat, she sniffled and slashed at her eyes with the back of her hand. “But that’s all past now.”

  “I had no idea.” Raleigh stared at Fay. “You two seemed so happy together.”

  “That’s the heck of it. We were happy.” Fay fiddled with her apron strings. “But we could have had so much more if he hadn’t been so afraid. I’m not telling you this to upset you, Raleigh, but it’s important to understand. I want you to break the cycle. Don’t forsake Dan. He obviously cares for you very much.”

  “Fay, I can’t handle this relationship.”

  “How do you know unless you try?”

  “It’s too risky,” Raleigh whispered.

  “There’s always a risk, whichever choice you make. But I guarantee that if you let a good man like Dan slip through your fingers just because you were too afraid to love him, I promise you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

  Dan stopped unloading the truck and cast a wary eye toward the darkening sky.

  A bunker of brown clouds rolled steadily eastward.

  Unfortunately, the storm had arrived too late to prevent his parents’ incoming flight. Pete had already gone to El Paso to pick them up at the airport. Dan savored their visit like a root canal.

  The last week without Raleigh had been miserable. The horses, somehow sensing their mistress had left for good, misbehaved, refusing to cooperate with either him or Pete. Even Matt Dillon had nipped at him earlier in the afternoon. He couldn’t blame the animals. Without Raleigh, he felt irritable, distracted, and downright ornery himself.

  And now his parents were about to descend upon him in the middle of a sandstorm. What else could go wrong? He shouldered a fifty-pound sack of oats and headed for the barn.

  Halfway across the yard, he stopped dead in his tracks. The corral gate hung open, creaking with each billowing gust of dusty wind. All the horses were gone except for Matt Dillon and Sunny, who were enclosed in a separate paddock.

  Swearing, Dan dropped the oats. Obviously, either he or Pete had left the gate unlocked. This wouldn’t have happened if Raleigh had been here, he thought, squinting into the distance. She was meticulous about the horses.

  No sign of the missing animals. Dang. He couldn’t leave the horses out in a sandstorm. He had to go after them. Dan glanced at his watch and then at the sky already full of dirt and wind. No time to wait for Pete; the situation was urgent.

  But where to start looking?

  If only Raleigh were here, she’d know what to do. Dan shook his head. Useless thinking. This was his ranch, and he could handle a crisis.

  Disgusted, he stalked to the barn, Chester hot on his heels. He grabbed the gear and quickly saddled Matt Dillon. Another glance at the ominous sky told Dan he had maybe an hour before the storm hit full force. Leading the gelding out of the paddock, he latched the gate, then swung into the saddle.

  Galloping across the pasture, Dan followed the hoofprints in the dry sand as best he could, Chester trotting behind him.

  He rode for several minutes, the storm rolling in faster than he’d expected. Anxiety gripped his gut. The wind kicked up, blowing sand and dirt into his face. Grit coated his lips. He spat and wiped his mouth with a blue bandanna he dug from his back pocket.

  Matt Dillion’s every step took him deeper and deeper into the storm. In his mind, Raleigh rode beside him, fortifying his imagination with her grit and determination. Even though she’d told him she didn’t love him, Dan had trouble believing she was gone for good. He still felt her presence, in his heart and in his soul.

  Hunkering in the saddle, he bunched his shoulders for protection against the growing wind and coughed. Sand eddies danced and swirled before him. He tugged on the reins and turned Matt Dillon to the left.

  Eyes burning, he skirted a clump of cacti and traveled over a rocky ridge. His nose itched. He rubbed his mouth with a knuckle and tasted dirt.

  Dark clouds boiled above, threatening a sandy deluge. The encroaching gale whistled through the rocky canyon. He couldn’t see two feet in front of his face, much less hoofprints in the shifting earth.

  Chester shied, barking furiously. Dan urged Matt Dillon onward, but the gelding balked.

  Dan drove his heels into the Thoroughbred’s sides. “Come on, come on.”

  Matt Dillon snorted and thrashed his head.

  Then Dan heard it, clear and unmistakable—a rattlesnake’s deadly buzz.

  Matt Dillon reared, bucked, kicked, and fought the bit.

  A violent snatch of wind grabbed Dan’s Stetson and sent it flying across the rugged terrain. Grinding his teeth, Dan struggled to stay astride the frightened horse.

  “Whoa, there. Whoa, boy.”

  The rattling grew louder, more insistent.

  Dan scanned the ground, trying unsuccessfully to locate the snake and steer the horse clear.

  Matt Dillon reared again, his hooves clattering against the rocks. The Thoroughbred tugged sharply on the bridle. The leather reins chewed Dan’s palms as he fought desperately to remain in the saddle.

  But this time Dan wasn’t so lucky. His aching fingers slipped. He lost his balance and succumbed to the bucking animal’s attempts to dislodge him. Arms and legs windmilling wildly, he snatched for a handful of Matt Dillon’s mane and missed.

  He cried out seconds before his head struck a large, flat rock, and his thoughts fractured into empty silence.

  Raleigh knew Fay was right. She loved Dan, wanted him, needed him, couldn’t live without him. No matter how hard she struggled to deny it, he’d embedded himself in her psyche like a farrier’s nail in a horseshoe.

  They complemented each other—his calm nature soothed her fiery tendencies, while her down-to-earth practical approach to problem solving helped offset his dreaminess. Like a bit and bridle, they fit, wonderful as a team, ineffective alone.

  She had to find Dan and tell him the truth. Now. Today. This minute. For at last, she was ready to admit her love, both to Dan and herself. Finally, she had a chance for happiness.

  “Fay,” Raleigh said, looking her dear friend straight in the eye. “I have to go to the ranch.”

  “In this storm?” Concern knit Fay’s brow.

  “I’m worried about the horses,” she said, then added, “and Dan.”

  Raleigh got to her feet, removed her apron, and retrieved her purse from behind the counter. Fay followed her to the doorway, pushing up the sleeves of her sweater as she went. The wind seized the front door from her hand and smacked it against the outside wall with a resounding bang.

  “Will you look after Caleb for me until I get back?” Raleigh had to shout over the wind to be heard.

  “Of course, I will. Good luck.”

  Raleigh waved goodbye and dashed down the block, her pink uniform flapping around her legs in the thick, dusty breeze.

  At the thought of seeing Dan again, excitement and dread mixed inside her like an exotic cocktail. She gunned the engine and maneuvered her battered old pickup through the gathering storm.

  Fists of sand splattered against the windshield. She turned on the wipers, but they only smeared the dirt, decreasing her visibility even more.

  When she finally reached the ranch, she found it empty. Dan’s truck sat in the driveway, key fob in the console. The corral gate hung open, and there were no horses in sight. Had the animals gotten out of their enclosure? In this storm?

  “Dan,” she called, cupping her hands around her mouth. The wind slapped the echo back in her face.

/>   Blowing sand filled her sneakers. The wind roared steadily. Squinting against the dust, she saw Sunny silhouetted in the paddock.

  Then, she heard the faint sound of barking. From out of the dust clouds ran Chester.

  “Hey, Chester,” she greeted him.

  The dog whined.

  “What’s the matter, boy? You hungry? Hasn’t Dan been feeding you since I left?”

  Chester whined louder, pawing at her leg. He barked sharply and turned in a semicircle, as if trying to tell her something.

  “What is it?”

  Growling, Chester hunkered down on the ground and laid back his ears.

  A disturbing intuitive flash told Raleigh something was very wrong, that Dan was in trouble. She certainly couldn’t stand by and do nothing while the man she loved was in danger. She’d fallen prey to that tragic mistake once, and she wasn’t about to do it again.

  Unlatching the paddock, she led Sunny outside, ignoring the increasing tempo of the storm. Not bothering with a saddle, she swung onto the mare’s back and started across the pasture, Chester leading the way.

  Savage blasts of sand impeded her. She could scarcely see. If it hadn’t been for the dog, she wouldn’t have known which direction to go.

  Stark images dominated her mind’s eye. Her mother’s fiery death. Jack’s pale, lifeless body wrenched from the murky waters by rescue workers. Pa, weak and frail, being wheeled into surgery for the kidney transplant that had ended his life.

  And Dan.

  The way he had looked the last time she’d spoken those cutting, lying words. She’d caused him so much pain. What a fool she’d been. Life was so short. Too short. Letting her pride and fears get in the way of life, allowing her anger and shame to get in the way of love. Now that she realized the error of her ways, it might be too late to change, too late to undo her mistakes.

  Too late to tell Dan she loved him.

  For the first time in many years, she teetered on the brink of tears. A river of sorrow pressed against her eyelids, threatening to break through the levee of her loneliness and come cascading down her cheeks in unstoppable torrents.