A Wedding on Bluebird Way Page 18

“You have news,” Adelia said. “I guess the Queen of Hearts ran off with the jester after all.”

  “If you mean Savannah Loving, then yes. She took off on her uncle’s motorcycle. Her mother was in hysterics.”

  Adelia nodded sagely. “Lady Marion.” Then her eyes lit on Hailey, and this time they looked less vague. “The prince was there, too, I see. Such a fine lad, and no cardsharp either. He will make you very happy, my dear.”

  Hailey’s heart galloped in alarm. She didn’t want anyone making her “happy.” Grams might know things, but she didn’t know everything. She still got it wrong sometimes.

  Determined not to let the conversation go any further, Hailey jumped up. “I’m thirsty. Is Lord Byron going to drink his tea?”

  “Of course, silly girl. He pours port brandy in his cup and thinks I don’t notice.”

  Hailey went back into the kitchen, made herself a glass of cold sweet tea, and then went outside to the porch. Unlike the porch at the Bluebird Inn, hers was peeling, creaky, and crowded with succulents. The last of the season’s fragrant Chinese wisteria hung from the house’s shabby gingerbread trim. An enormous water oak spread its shady branches too close to the roof, which leaked anyway. Even when her father was alive, the roof had been Swiss cheese. Hailey had to put out a dozen buckets to catch the drips.

  At least there was a roof. Sort of.

  Joshua, on the other hand . . . Hailey took a long sip of tea and let an ice cube slide over her tongue. She’d never envied his wealth, but she did feel the differences between them. He used to sneak her into the boathouse, which sat on the edge of Loving Lake. An entire lake named after his family. They’d laughed about it as they lay entwined on the mattress he’d rigged up for them.

  Everything had been so bright and beautiful then. They were so sure of what they wanted: a future together. A small veterinary practice here in town. Children. And all those rolling acres on which to raise them.

  Sometimes she still lay awake at night thinking about it. Her life would have been so different if Joseph and Marion hadn’t persuaded Joshua that eighteen was too young to get married. That if their love was real, it would survive four years of college. After Dad and Tanner’s accident, Joshua had tried to convince Hailey to go to Austin with him. He wanted them to get married there, find an apartment, be happy. But Hailey couldn’t run off and leave her grandmother alone in a drafty old house. Instead of waiting a semester before running off to university, Joshua had let his parents talk him into going right away, which proved, she guessed, just how unprepared he was to handle the sacrifices of marriage.

  That was what she told herself at least.

  Hailey rolled the sweating glass against her forehead, trying to get cool. Every time she thought about Joshua, her body heat went haywire.

  Grams pushed open the screen door, clucking at her cats. Half of them followed her outside, milling around her legs. She sat on a rocker across from Hailey—the porch swing couldn’t be trusted at this point—and cocked her head brightly to one side, like a bird.

  “The truth can be a bitter pill to swallow, my darling girl, but it doesn’t have to be,” Grams said. “I know you were disappointed by him. The handsome young prince failed to slay your dragons.”

  Hailey pulled up one knee, folded the other beneath her, and thoughtfully examined her glass. “What’s that mean, Grams?”

  “It means the bluebirds will come back to Serendipity, if you let them.”

  “What?”

  “You have to make a nest for them, my dear. The bluebirds of happiness just work like that. You need to make room for them in your heart.”

  * * *

  Bingo.

  Idling at one of Serendipity’s few stoplights, Joshua spotted Hailey up ahead at Wilbur Garrison’s gas station. In a town the size of this one, where everybody knew your business, it hadn’t taken him long to figure out which job she was working today. And there she was in her mechanic’s jumpsuit, with her shiny black hair scraped back in a sleek ponytail, clattering a gas dispenser back into a pump.

  Hailey knew everything about cars because her dad had raised her to be a son. Whatever a man could do, Hailey could do better. Richard Deacon hadn’t been a bad father. Just broken. But he hadn’t had one clue about raising a shy, sensitive, deep-feeling girl like Hailey. And Tanner, her brother, had just seen her as his annoying kid sister.

  Still, Hailey’s whole family had been close, which was more than Joshua could say about his own family. Unlike what his parents had done with their parents, Hailey would never put her Grams in a rest home.

  After the light turned green, Joshua drove through the intersection and then pulled his Jeep off to the side and sat watching. Nobody understood Hailey the way he did. When she was hurt, she got quiet. When she was angry, she got quiet. You had to pay attention and listen to what she wasn’t saying. Otherwise, you missed out on knowing her true strength and her inner beauty. Joshua had done a fair amount of dating in the past four years. No one came close to Hailey.

  With nothing but the Jeep’s roll cage to protect him from the blazing sun, Joshua inched the car forward, positioning it underneath a cottonwood tree. A sluggish wind cascaded through its leaves, making it sound as though they were whispering to him, rightly calling him a coward. It’s easy to go with the flow, Hailey had said on the porch. What takes courage is standing up for the things you believe in.

  Guilt gave him a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew exactly what she meant.

  His phone rang, and he glanced down to see who it was. Trip was at the Ice House skulling beers. Joshua swiped to answer. “What’s up?”

  “Did you talk to her yet?”

  Damn. So Trip had guessed where he was going. “Don’t you have women to annoy?”

  “Doesn’t mean I can’t annoy you too, bro,” Trip said. Joshua could hear the Ice House’s old-timey jukebox in the background and the sound of people talking. “So you decided to go all in, eh? All three strikes?”

  Joshua saw Hailey wave good-bye to her customer and then return to the service bay where a car waited on a hydraulic lift. Just watching her distracted him and made it difficult to follow the thread of the conversation. “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re selling, but she ain’t buying. Ever think maybe it’s time to put your cards on the table?”

  Joshua thought about that. Maybe Trip was right.

  “You know, for once you may not be all wrong,” Joshua said. “Catch you later.” He clicked off, put the Jeep in gear, and then drove to the gas station. The service bell sounded before he pulled up to the pump and then killed the engine. His heart was beating faster than the drums in the Nine Inch Nails song on the radio.

  Hailey came out of the service bay, wiping her hands on a shop rag. Her blue eyes looked fearful when she saw him, which wasn’t encouraging. But he couldn’t lose this time. There was too much at stake.

  Four years was a long time to test the sincerity of your feelings. Consider them tested.

  “Unleaded?” she asked, flicking her gaze past him to the Jeep.

  “Please. Let me do it.” He got out of the car and then reached for the dispenser. Maybe he was old-fashioned, but letting Hailey pump his gas while he just stood there was more than he could handle.

  Joshua glanced around. Was Hailey the only one working? Serendipity had no crime to speak of, but Joshua wasn’t wild about her being alone all day. He grabbed the dispenser, unscrewed his gas cap, and then jammed in the nozzle. “Can we talk?”

  “Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

  She wasn’t going to make this easy for him. Why should she? He deserved every awkward silence. You can’t mess this up. You can’t. He kept trying to think of the right thing to say. Maybe he should just speak from the heart.

  “Savannah doing okay?” she asked. “I heard she was holed up somewhere north of here.”

  It was true. They’d gotten a text from her last night. Joshua might have been worried fo
r his sister, and even a little pissed, but he was starting to soften up a bit. At least Savannah had followed her heart, which was more than he had done.

  “I need to explain a few things,” he said. “About what happened. About us.”

  Her clear, expressive eyes flickered. They were like church windows and had always burned bright. Now they just looked shuttered.

  “What’s past is past,” she replied curtly. “Let’s just leave it alone.”

  The point-of-sale display on the gas pump kept churning, just like Joshua’s thoughts. He felt sick.

  What takes courage is standing up for the things you believe in.

  When the pressure trigger popped, it seemed as though something popped inside him, too. “I’m still crazy about you, Hailey. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you or wish you were with me. Every time I come back to Serendipity, I check on you to make sure you’re okay. I know how badly I disappointed you. But don’t ever think I forgot you, because it isn’t true.”

  His heart was doing the two-minute mile. All he’d ever wanted was her. He’d tried to analyze it, weigh it, understand why. Some things just were. And the criticisms of their relationship—they were too young, too impulsive, too crazy—none of that had anything to do with his feelings for her. He knew that now.

  Might as well tell her the whole truth. Joshua passed one hand over his forehead, which was slick with the sweat of a man whose back was against a very hot wall. “I’ve never stopped loving you, Hailey. I never will.”

  * * *

  Hailey took the gas dispenser from Joshua, hung it up, and then leaned on the pump, breathing heavily. Was he still behind her? She kind of hoped not.

  She could sense his confusion and yes, maybe his heartache, too. But she had a hard time believing his loss was anything like hers had been. Every inch of Serendipity had reminded her of him, all the walks they had taken, the talks they had, the night she knew that she was ready to . . . No, she couldn’t think about that. If she thought about that, she’d go crazy.

  Now here he was saying all kinds of sweet things, and it even seemed like he meant them, but how were you supposed to trust someone again after he’d broken your heart?

  “I have work to do.” She pivoted and went back to the service bay where Mrs. Elden’s 1998 Oldsmobile Intrigue awaited an oil change. Hailey could hear him following her.

  “What do I have to do to get you to believe me?” Joshua said. “Hailey, I’m just asking for a chance, one chance, to make it up to you.”

  She grabbed a socket wrench, loosened the drain plug, and let the old oil pour into an oil pan. “There’s nothing to make up. I don’t want your pity, Joshua.”

  “And I’m not giving it,” he said. “That’s not how I feel about you.”

  “Then how do you feel about me? Does your conscience hurt? Is that it?”

  He dashed one hand through his hair and gazed down at her with that penetrating look she knew so well, the one that saw past all her fear and her defensiveness and honed in on the real her.

  It was terrifying.

  She wiped a trickle of engine coolant that spilled onto the crankcase. On a car this old, it was probably a good idea to inspect the head gasket. She started undoing screws. If she thought about cars, maybe she wouldn’t have to think about him.

  “Are you listening?” he asked.

  “I hear the words you’re saying.”

  “I’m confessing—”

  “Oh, is this a confession?”

  Hailey gave the screw a particularly vicious yank. So she was the worst kind of sin, was she, the kind of sin you had to confess? Not rich, not college educated, not Mayflower material. She even had a crazy grandmother. Who was less suitable than that?

  “Do you think this is easy for me?” Joshua said. “I’m a guy, remember? I’m here with my heart on my sleeve, putting it all on the line for you.”

  Hailey felt her own reckless anger rising up. She wanted him to hold her and hated the wanting. “Putting it on the line for me? Like you did after Tanner and my dad died? Or when you decided to let your parents start telling you how to live your life?”

  Joshua grabbed the screwdriver out of her hand and set it down on the tool case. He took both her greasy, nail-bitten hands in his bigger, stronger ones. Joshua had the hands of a surgeon, a pianist, a gentleman farmer. Hers betrayed the fact that she knew far more about tire tubes than tubes of lipstick.

  Was that why she was so angry? Her skin prickled with dread. But she was prickling for other reasons, too. A familiar drugging heat was claiming her, inch by inch. She had every reason to fear it, especially since she knew it would win in the end. With him, it always won.

  “I wish we weren’t talking about this in a gas station,” Joshua said. “But you didn’t leave me any choice.”

  She couldn’t wrench her hands away. She wanted to go back to pretending she was busy, didn’t care, was over it. But the truth was she’d never been over it.

  “I love you, Hailey,” he murmured. “I know I screwed up. I know that I don’t deserve a woman like you. But I want to deserve you. Please, just give me a chance to do that.”

  Chapter Four

  5:09 p.m. Hailey tore her eyes away from the old grandfather clock in the living room and stared at herself in the mirror. A girl in a blue gingham sundress stared back. She didn’t know this girl. Who was dressed up for a date with Joshua Loving. In about twenty minutes.

  This girl she didn’t know most certainly didn’t belong in a blue gingham sundress.

  She went back upstairs. Trying to make yourself more “acceptable” by dressing like a girl was the second sign that you were making a big mistake. The first was agreeing to go on a date with Joshua Loving. What had she been thinking?

  5:16 p.m. Hailey was so keyed up, she had to look at her nightstand clock twice to be sure what time it was. She patted herself down to make sure everything was accounted for. Tank tee? Yes. Cargo pants? Yes. Heart beating a million miles an hour? Yes.

  5:23 p.m. That was what the clock said when she went back downstairs. Grams came out of the first-floor bedroom wearing a pith helmet.

  “Your dashing young Pegasus this way flies,” Grams said. “His wings are made of hope.”

  “Are you sure you’re going to be okay without me here to make dinner?” Hailey asked. “It’s only for a few hours, but—”

  “Better three hours too soon than one minute too late.” Grams tramped into the kitchen. “Never fear, my sweet girl, there’s plenty of ice cream.”

  The doorbell rang, which surprised Hailey since she rarely heard it and hadn’t been sure it even worked anymore. Just one of a million things that needed to be looked into around here. And there went her pulse again, off to the races. She had a wonderful feeling about tonight—more butterflies, less moth-in-a-jar. When she opened the front door, the bottom dropped out of her stomach because Joshua was so handsome, he took her breath away.

  He wore a blue shirt, sleeves rolled to the elbows, which did nothing to hide his wide shoulders and muscular chest. He’d always kept his hair a little long, usually to the collar, but being outdoors all the time had given it even brighter blond streaks. She caught the fragrance of his pine-scented soap and fresh, lemony aftershave, a combination that made her toes curl. The sheer maleness of Joshua had always hit her dead center. Now that punch radiated out to her fingers and toes. It set fire to every good intention she had of keeping her distance.

  Okay, maybe she should have worn the dress.

  His teeth flashed white in his tanned face. “I brought something for Adelia,” he said, showing Hailey a box of opera cream chocolates. “May I give it to her?”

  Hailey let him inside. She was touched that he’d remembered. Opera creams were Grams’s favorite.

  Grams appeared in the foyer with a pair of ancient binoculars dangling from her neck. “Chocolates? Oh, you are good. Lord Byron never brings me a thing.”

  Hailey cleared her throat. Joshua knew
her grandmother’s peculiarities, but to see them again so starkly would have made any man nervous.

  He didn’t bat an eye. “I’m happy to give them to you, Miss Adelia.”

  Grams accepted the box of candy and beamed at him approvingly. Then she strode back into the kitchen.

  Joshua smiled down at Hailey. “You ever get the feeling she’s the sane one and all the rest of us are nuts?”

  “All the time.” Hailey sighed. “Are you ready?”

  They went down the porch steps and then out to his Jeep, which took some getting used to. The nice thing about a regular car was that you were hidden behind sturdy doors. In a Jeep, you were always on display. Hailey glanced over at him. Joshua looked almost too cool and in control. He said something about taking her to dinner.

  It was just like old times, this feeling of happy togetherness. In a way, nothing had changed. She and Joshua had always been like interlocking puzzle pieces. But, in other ways, everything had changed. They were older, for starters. She was fully resigned to her fate here in Serendipity, to putting her life on hold so she could take care of Grams, her house, her responsibilities. Had Joshua changed, too? She sensed that something was different. But it still hurt that he hadn’t fought for her. Not hard enough anyway. She would have fought to the death for him—for anyone she loved.

  “This is freaking amazing,” Joshua said, shifting into fifth gear as they took to the open road. “Being here with you. Even being in Serendipity.”

  “You forgot what a gossip mill it is.”

  “Hey, if they’re talking about you, why not talk about them back?” He flashed her a boyish smile, complete with dimples, that only someone as manly as Joshua could get away with. He had always been the sun to her moon, the bright to her shadow. Maybe they balanced each other out.

  “I never knew you liked Serendipity,” she said. “You were all, ‘This place is killing me—how fast can I get out of here?’”

  He shrugged. “If you don’t leave home, you never get a chance to appreciate it.”

  Hailey had a feeling he meant more than just home. Time to change the subject. She still wasn’t sure this going-out business was a good idea. But when he’d forced her to look at him at the gas station, she’d seen such love and devotion blazing in his eyes. What else could she do except say yes?