A Wedding on Bluebird Way Page 19

  But now, sitting beside him, she was drowning in a sea of memories. The power of his hard, muscular body on hers. The silkiness of his hair in her fingers. The lazy caress of his voice when he said her name. She remembered the passion and the tenderness and even the moments when they said nothing at all, when all they’d done was bask in the quiet joy of being together.

  Them against the world.

  Why couldn’t the world have left them alone?

  “Are you hungry?” he asked. “Because I know just the spot.”

  She racked her brain trying to think where. Serendipity had just two restaurants, Bubba Red’s, a barbeque place on the square, and a new waffle joint. There was nothing romantic about either.

  “It’s going to be epic,” he said, the corners of his lips twitching.

  “Maybe,” she replied. “The jury’s still out yet.”

  He drove her to the middle of nowhere—only nowhere was a grassy hill seeded with wildflowers and a lone oak tree that spread its branches out in a cool, green embrace. The hill overlooked a valley where the shadows of clouds drifted by. It was all warm earth and sunshine and the slightly mossy chlorophyll smell of the oak leaves.

  Hailey’s senses stirred. “Restaurant, eh?”

  He cut the engine and grinned at her. “I never said anything about a restaurant. Just that I knew a spot.”

  They found a perfect picnic place beneath the tree. Joshua smoothed out a checkered tablecloth and then unpacked an ice chest full of sandwiches, cold sodas, and half a watermelon. “You don’t belong indoors,” he told her. “You belong here in nature.”

  It made her bashful the way he knew her. But there was a tingling warmth in her limbs that she could scarcely remember feeling before. As she helped set out the forks and napkins, dragonflies zoomed and birds burst out of the grass in a flurry of wings. It seemed as though her heart might burst, too.

  How could she resist this? How could she resist him? How did you even protect yourself against someone who knew you better than you knew yourself?

  They ate and laughed and took pleasure in all the same things—tiny daisies poking up through the grass. The limestone outcroppings and the glitter of a stream in the distance. Food was so much more delicious when you ate it outside. After dinner, they took turns digging into the sun-warmed watermelon bursting with juice. Joshua leaned against the tree with her and watched the rich, golden stillness of late afternoon turn into the kaleidoscope of sunset.

  He gave a contented sigh. “This is perfect. It’s about as different from my life in Austin as you can get.”

  “In what way?” she asked, watching him in the soft glow of sunset.

  “There, it’s all beer keggers and cramming for finals. Here, I finally feel at peace.”

  “Austin doesn’t sound so bad,” she said. “At least you’re not stuck.”

  “Is that how you feel here? Stuck?”

  She pressed her sticky-sweet lips together, worrying that she’d been disloyal to Grams. A good person wouldn’t feel stuck. A good person would be happy to have even half as much as she did.

  “Hailey . . .” Joshua’s eyes were on her again, making her wonder if he truly did see inside her. There was no getting away from his restless gaze. “I let you down, and I’m sorry.”

  Whoosh went the air from her lungs. Was it too soon to pick at this scab? Maybe it wasn’t soon enough. Hailey didn’t want to talk about the past. They were having such a good time now. Why spoil it?

  “I didn’t trust myself then,” he said. “I didn’t trust that what I felt for you was real.”

  “What makes you think it’s real now?” she asked, surprised by how tense her voice sounded.

  “Now I have something to compare it to. I know it’s real.”

  She snuck a look at him from beneath her lashes. Words were cheap. Do you know what’s real? Sacrifice. Commitment. “You’re going back to Austin in a week and a half. There’s no point in starting something now, Joshua.”

  “I’m not going back. I’ve accepted a year’s internship near here. After that, I plan on taking the VCATs and applying to vet school over at TCU. I’m not leaving again, Hailey. Like it or not, you’re stuck with me.”

  Joshua said it so casually, so matter-of-factly. He wouldn’t meet her eye, but she sensed his hesitance came from nervousness, not avoidance. Her heart started thumping. “I don’t understand. When did you decide to do all that?”

  “I’d been thinking about it. But when I saw you again . . .” His voice was so soft, it felt like silk being dragged across her skin. “I know what I want, Hailey. And I know who I want it with.”

  Her lips went suddenly dry. She licked them, studying the patch of weeds in front of her. “What do you want?”

  He leaned back, arms folded behind his head, and gazed up at the canopy of the tree. A hot breeze blew the leaves around and dropped a few dried twigs on his broad chest. “I want this, what we have right here. I want to become a large animal vet and work with the local ranchers. City life isn’t for me, Hailey. I want a family. I want us to be happy.”

  Her head swam. Every dream she’d ever had, he held in his hand right now and was offering to her. Her heart felt like one of those old stone tablets with all the crazy writing on it, but Joshua knew the magic words because he was the only one who could read them. But what words could warm stone? She wanted so badly to believe him.

  “But you haven’t told your parents any of this yet,” she said softly.

  He lapsed into silence. Maybe she’d offended him by pointing out the truth, but the Hailey who let things slide, who didn’t insist on being completely up-front, was long gone. The Lovings were going to lose their minds when they found out Joshua had no intention of becoming a heart surgeon. And they were really going to flip when they discovered that she was back in the picture. She would be blamed for all of it, and Joshua might even be disinherited. He had a cousin who’d joined the Peace Corps. The whole family—except Joshua—had turned its back on him. Didn’t he see that he’d be next?

  “My dad’s still a mess over the whole Savannah thing,” Joshua said. “Now he thinks I knew all along and didn’t tell him.”

  He sounded so sad. Before she could stop herself, Hailey reached over and touched his hand. She meant it as comfort, but there was nothing comforting about the jolt of contact with him. The world melted away, and suddenly there was just her hand and his hand and this feeling—my God, it moved through her with the consuming heat of a fever. She couldn’t stop touching him. She didn’t care what happened if she continued.

  His eyes held hers. There was no striving in them, no boyish eagerness. This was the way a man looked at the woman he loved. Joshua had so little cynicism about life, not like her. He wasn’t afraid to be open, to be vulnerable. To need her.

  Could she be that brave?

  With a kind of mute, wondering hunger, he traced his fingers across her cheek. Her breath caught. She was floating high above her body, yet rooted to it by these white-hot filaments of desire. Was this really happening? Was she really here with Joshua or was she still alone in her bed, dreaming about him?

  All those nights she’d spent trying to remember his scent or the feeling of him inside her. When he whispered her name, she didn’t hear it with her ears, she responded to it with her heart. And when they kissed, her tears didn’t appear to surprise him at all. Instead of dousing the flames of his passion for her, they seemed to fan them higher.

  Joshua understood her so perfectly. He accepted her without question. She gave a shaky, joyful sob. No wonder her endless yearning for him had nearly eaten her alive.

  “I love you, Hailey,” he murmured. “Baby, I love you.”

  Her warm hair slid over her shoulders. He must have released it like he was releasing her, one binding thing at a time. He pulled her down toward him and grazed her lips with his, teasing and sipping. His lips were soft, unlike the rest of him. The rest of him was all muscle. When he hovered over her, supporting
his weight on his elbows, she remembered how huge he was compared to her. It was a difference she always found arousing.

  The world was a better place when Joshua was with her. He was the only one big enough and strong enough to show it to her.

  Everything between her thighs softened for him. When he cupped her breasts with his gentle, knowing hands, she arched against him in unspoken invitation. The future, the past—none of it mattered now.

  “Are you sure?” he said. “I would never want to rush you. And I didn’t bring protection.”

  She couldn’t form words. Instead, she rolled on top of him, straddling him the way he liked it. The way she liked it. Except that they had too many clothes on. Grabbing the hem of her T-shirt, she pulled it over her head and tossed it aside. She felt the rush of air on her naked flesh.

  There was no point in fighting this, even if love was a velvet paw hiding the claws that shredded you. Joshua was touching her with such reverence. The sound of his zipper was the hottest thing she’d ever heard. She let herself tumble down into the dark deliciousness of his scent, his texture, his skin.

  Joshua might have come back to Serendipity, but it was Hailey who felt as though she were coming home.

  Chapter Five

  She was everything he’d been waiting for. The clean healthy taste of her, the old-fashioned rose scent of her shampoo. Hailey had always reminded him of roses. She was a rose that had mysteriously grown in a garden full of weeds.

  And now she was soft and warm in his arms. She was his. After years of dating women who never quite measured up to her—almost-perfect women who lacked her courage and her character—Joshua knew exactly what Hailey was worth. She heated his blood like no one else. She made him a better man. She’d burrowed her way into his heart without even trying.

  But when he kissed her, he tasted the salt of her tears. And he knew where those tears had come from.

  “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he said against her lips. “I’m right here.” He watched her dash the tears away with her hand. The last rays of sunlight turned her skin to fire, but it was his own skin that was burning up. He was so hard, he ached.

  I will never let you go, he thought. I’ll never let you slip away again.

  She was so much smaller than he was. He’d forgotten how small. He had to exercise special care not to hurt her. He wanted to bury himself in the tight, hot center of her and empty himself, body and soul. But this was Hailey, not some girl at a frat party. When you loved somebody, everything was different.

  He slanted her hot eager mouth over his, throbbing with need for her. Clasping her face in his hands, he intensified the kiss, letting his tongue dance with hers, the intimacy of it taking him right to the edge.

  His fingers slid into the silky smoothness of her hair before wandering down the taut muscles of her backside, which he pressed firmly against him. She sucked in a breath.

  My beautiful Hailey. Did you think I forgot?

  * * *

  Sex was a lie. Hailey knew that.

  It made you weak. It made you drunk. It tore down walls and put up gauze instead, so that everything looked deceptively soft and fuzzy.

  She’d done something she would hate herself for later.

  So why did she feel so happy?

  Hailey glanced over at Joshua as he drove her home, one hand slung casually over the steering wheel, the other lightly gripping the stick shift. The soft night air made her feel as though she were floating. The roar of the wind whipping through the Jeep made it hard to talk, but they didn’t need to talk. The space between them was electric.

  Without even taking off her clothes, he’d taken her to the moon and hadn’t even asked her to return the “favor.” She’d been too spent to offer.

  What man didn’t insist on getting what he felt was coming to him? What man put a woman’s needs first?

  And what am I going to do when he breaks my heart again?

  “So would you say that was your best picnic ever?” he asked teasingly.

  She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her smile, but she couldn’t help it. “Maybe.”

  “Just maybe?” He raised his eyebrows at her, clearly expecting the truth.

  Men were shameless. It was probably a big part of their charm.

  “If I tell you it was great,” she said, “you’ll have this crazy big opinion of yourself.”

  “Oh, I don’t want to hear that it was great. I want to hear it was the best.”

  She cut her eyes at him. “Well, the watermelon was pretty good.”

  He laughed and tenderly brushed a few strands of hair out of her face, letting the wind take them streaming behind her. Every time he touched her, her breathing quickened and goose bumps raced over her skin.

  She looked at the night sky with the moon high overhead and thought, I will always remember this. No matter what happens, I will have this night to look back on.

  “We should probably stop for gas,” he said, checking his dashboard gauge. “I was all over hell’s half-acre this morning and burned through a lot of fuel. But don’t even think about getting out to pump it.”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake. It’s what I do for a living.”

  “Yeah, but that’s exactly why I don’t want you doing it now. Can I just handle it myself? Please? Without your making a fuss?”

  She heaved a sigh, pretending to be annoyed with him. Secretly, being treated “like a girl” made her feel . . . well, kind of special. Same thing when Joshua opened doors for her or pulled out her chair. They were such sweet, old-fashioned gestures. Hailey wouldn’t admit to him in a million years that she liked them, but maybe she did.

  The first gas station they found on the way home was Bucky Peterson’s place on Decatur. The service windows were dark, and Bucky was long gone for the day, but he kept two pumps open. Hailey remembered because Tanner and her dad used to fuel up there before they went hunting.

  “Okay, just stay here,” Joshua told her. “I got this.”

  She stayed. It was harder than she thought it would be. While the tank was filling, Joshua found a squeegee and flung off the excess water. He made faces and flirted with her while dragging the squeegee across the bug-splattered windshield. She watched the muscles rippling in his forearms and found herself losing her train of thought. Why did something like forearms make you go all sweaty? His lips tugged up at the corners because he knew how annoyed she was sitting back and doing nothing.

  “Am I doing it wrong?” he said. “Was I supposed to lift the wipers up first? Is it one long pass or do I go back and forth?”

  She rolled her eyes. “You’re just loving this, aren’t you?”

  A car pulled up on the other side of the service island. Hailey couldn’t help but admire the lines. A blue Ford Mustang V6 convertible, 307 horsepower, with a rear drive that could hit sixty in just over five seconds. But when Hailey saw who was driving it, her confidence took a nosedive.

  It was Mandy Adams and two other girls who were obviously home for spring break. Mandy had been Joshua’s girlfriend in high school—head cheerleader, member of the student council, yearbook editor. Rich.

  While Hailey had struggled to stay awake during algebra, Mandy had been on the school’s PA system making perky, up-with-people announcements about pep rallies and bake sales. Their worlds were so different, they never collided.

  Instead, Hailey had been forced to watch Joshua and Mandy holding hands in the quad and slow dancing at fall formal while she suffered through Bryan Lebronski’s bad breath, sweaty palms, and clodhopper feet.

  And now that awful feeling of inadequacy came bubbling up, full force, from whatever dark place people kept their high school trauma. Mandy looked so tanned and wholesome and pretty, Hailey felt like a consolation prize.

  “Hey, Joshua.” Mandy smiled up at him from behind the wheel of her car. He’d been in the process of hanging up the gas nozzle, so he was halfway between his Jeep and Mandy’s Mustang.

  Joshua flushed.
Hailey couldn’t tell why, but she could guess. He was probably embarrassed to be caught out in public with her.

  You know that’s not true. How could you even think it? Joshua might have disappointed her, but he’d never acted as though he were ashamed to be seen with her.

  What was wrong with her?

  “Oh, hey, Mandy,” Joshua said. He nodded to the two other girls in the car, both of whom gazed up at him with curious, feline interest in their eyes.

  “We’re headed over to the Ice House,” Mandy said, irresistibly cuddly in her pink, fluffy summer sweater. “Wanna come with us?”

  Hailey’s stomach felt like there was something alive inside it, scrabbling to get out. She glanced down at her hands, which showed white at the knuckles from clenching. Boy, nothing like having lovey-dovey feelings to bring out all your deepest insecurities. Part of her wanted to jump out of the car and let Mandy and those man-eating friends of hers know that she was here. Another part of her wanted to melt onto the floorboards where nobody could see her.

  Joshua said, “Hailey and I are pretty tired. I think we’re just going to turn in.”

  Hailey froze. Three pairs of predatory eyeballs swung in her direction. They took in her hair and clothes and found fault with all of it.

  “Hailey Deacon?” Mandy said.

  Hailey waved. She didn’t trust herself to actually speak. After she and Joshua left the station, Mandy and her friends were going to tear her to pieces anyway, so it didn’t really matter.

  Mandy seemed determined to keep that smile in place, even though it had slipped a little. Word around Serendipity was that she still had a thing for Joshua. All Hailey knew was that he and Mandy had broken up only a month before he’d gotten together with her.

  “What are you still doing in town?’ Mandy asked. “I thought everyone from high school left already.”

  Hailey darted a glance at Joshua. Help. He dropped the squeegee in the bucket and then came around the driver’s side. “Oh, well, you know,” she said lamely. “No place like home.”