A Cowboy for Christmas Read online

  “The competition is getting stiffer.”

  “Still, you have a good chance.”

  Rafferty nodded. “Listen, Lissy, I just wanted to let you know I’ve had an offer on Slate.”

  “Already?”

  “Yes.”

  “Who’s the buyer? How much did they offer?”

  An enigmatic expression flicked across his face. “The buyer is from California. He’s offering to purchase both Slate and his horse trailer for two hundred thousand dollars.”

  Lissy gasped. “Really? That’s amazing. I had no idea we could get that much for him.”

  “He’s done well.”

  “It’s all because of you.” Joyously, she threw her arms around his neck, squeezed him tight. “You’ve saved my life.”

  “No, Dandelion, you saved your own life.”

  “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up when you did.”

  “You would have done just fine.”

  “Don’t be so humble.”

  “Don’t be so scared of your own awesomeness.”

  They stared at each other. If people hadn’t surrounded them, she knew he would have kissed her.

  “I’m going to write you a check for the two hundred thousand,” he said. “So you can have the money now.”

  “There’s no need for that. I can hold out until the buyer sends the money.”

  “Let me do this,” he said. “While your bakery business is taking off, that means you’re going to need more capital fast to keep expanding. I’ve already made out the check.” He took it from his shirt pocket and passed it to her. “Please take it.”

  He was right. She had exhausted most of her money on the business and while she did have more income coming in, in order to grow, she needed to spend more. The two hundred grand was a godsend.

  “Please.”

  She realized she’d refused Jake’s check from him because she’d felt hurt and betrayed, but this was different. For one thing, it was money from the sale of Jake’s horse, which he had left to her, so that seemed okay even if it was Rafferty’s training that made Slate worth so much. For another thing, she’d fully let go of the pain and resentment. She forgave Jake and released those negative emotions.

  “All right.” She smiled.

  He looked so incredibly relieved that it made her feel a little guilty that she’d caused him anxiety over this.

  “Thank you, Rafferty.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Well,” she said. “I better get to the booth and spell Mariah. Give you a chance to get psyched up for the match.”

  “See you afterwards?”

  “I’ll be here.” She raised a hand in good-bye, and scurried from the arena, feeling more secure and at peace than she’d felt in a very long time.

  Rafferty tried his best to win the event. Coaxed as much out of Slate as the horse had to give. If he won, he could stay at least a few more days in Jubilee, but if he lost, there was nothing holding him here any longer. He had to get on the road. Go home.

  He felt a bit bad for not coming clean to Lissy about the sale of Jake’s horse. He hadn’t lied exactly. The buyer was from California. He just hadn’t told her that he was the buyer. If he’d been honest, he was certain that she would not have taken the money. She had so much stubborn pride, but he admired that about her. She was an exceptional woman and he was happy that his plan to preserve her pride had worked. Not only had he gotten her to accept the check, but he’d also been able to spend two great months getting to know her and his nephew.

  Too bad it was almost over.

  Slate gave the challenge his all, but in the end, the horse was still too young, still too green to keep winning. He was an amazing animal and he’d be a nice addition to Rafferty’s stables.

  When the scores were tallied, one of Joe Daniels’s horses won. Rafferty congratulated his new friend and meant every word, but he couldn’t help tripping over his own disappointment.

  It was time to go home.

  Joe clamped him on the shoulder. “You did a phenomenal job with Slate. Much better than Jake could have done.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Will you be back next year to compete?”

  Rafferty shook his head. “Probably not.”

  While the idea was appealing, it was probably best he make a clean break from Lissy and Kyle. They had their own path to follow, and if he kept popping in and out of their lives it would only confuse things. For the first time, he understood why Jake hadn’t kept in touch over the years. It was simply too hard on the emotions. Better to relegate Lissy and Kyle into a tidy box in his head and just get on with it. He’d kept his promise to Jake. He’d made sure they were okay, he could move on knowing he’d done his duty.

  Why, then, did he suddenly feel so damn empty?

  Lissette closed her booth at the trade show and slipped off to watch Rafferty compete. He’d given it his best shot, but he’d come in second to Joe’s first place.

  It fully hit her then that Rafferty’s time here was done.

  She left the stands and hurried down to the floor to search for Rafferty. The events were over for the day and everyone was loading up the animals. She found him currying Slate in one of the horse stalls.

  “Hey,” she said.

  He stood, set the currycomb aside. “Hey.”

  “You were awesome out there.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I’m proud of you,” she said. “Gordon would have been so proud of you too.”

  “That means a lot,” he said, and she could practically see the weight that had been burdening him for far too long roll off his broad shoulders. All his life he must have felt inferior to the father who never acknowledged him. “I do feel like I proved myself.”

  “I’m going to just go break down the booth and we can get out of here.” She forced herself to sound perky.

  “Let me help you. I can load Slate up later. It’ll be easier anyway after most everyone else has thinned out.”

  She didn’t turn him down. They cleaned up her booth and carried the supplies to her truck.

  Rafferty shut the pickup door and turned to face her. The night air was crisp and cold. A fine dusting of snow covered the ground, but the skies had cleared.

  “It’s cold,” he said. “Let’s get back inside.” He took her by the hand and led her to the empty arena. There, small pockets of people were dotted throughout the arena, but for the most part they were alone.

  Lissette took a deep breath. Tried to think of the right thing to say, but Rafferty was the first to speak.

  “I’ve trained a lot of horses for the movies,” he said. “It’s my favorite thing in the whole world, but I’ve never enjoyed myself the way I’ve enjoyed being here with you and Kyle.”

  “Your entire visit has left a mark on me. I can’t look around without seeing evidence of you,” she said.

  Silence fell, lingered.

  “If I were a superhero you know what kind of powers I would want?” he murmured.

  She laughed. “What’s that?”

  “The ability to freeze time. You know, when there’s a perfect moment that you want to preserve forever, wave a hand and stop the clock from ticking and just revel in it? Stay in that one spot for hours, weeks, months, years if you wanted.”

  “It’s a nice dream.” She nodded.

  “But . . . ?”

  “Only one problem.”

  “What’s that?” he murmured, wrapping a hand around her waist. His touch felt so good that she wanted to cry. “You don’t approve of my imaginary superpower?”

  “Everyone else would be frozen in the moment too, and what if in the moment of your bliss, they were clutched in the moment of their greatest despair? You couldn’t do that to other people just so you don’t have to face the next imperfect moment.”

  “You’re right. That would be terrible.” He pulled her up against him with both hands. She felt the pressure of his belt buckle against the smal
l of her back. She tipped her head back to rest against his shoulder. “The two of us locked in selfish bliss.”

  Lissette closed her eyes, felt his warm, pepperminty breath against her neck. What if he did indeed have superpowers? They could stay right here forever and ever. But that wasn’t the way life worked and they both had responsibilities. Hers were here. His were in California. She sensed he was about to say something, so she beat him to the punch. “Please, don’t say anything. Let’s just stand here.”

  “I have to leave soon,” he said.

  “Shh.”

  He turned her around in his arms so that she was facing him, and using sign language said, I will miss you.

  She mirrored his signing. What would she do without him? Better question, what would Kyle do without him?

  You’ll be fine, he signed, reading her mind. You’re strong.

  He was off to rescue someone else. That’s what knights in shining armor did. Rescue people. He’d rescued her, but his work here was done. He was off to find someone more needy.

  I’m needy, she wanted to say. I need you most.

  But she could not put that burden on him. She would not add to his pressure. She’d already kept him away from his home for too long. Besides, she had good friends here. She had her son. Eventually, she and Claudia would repair their relationship. She would survive.

  A cowboy climbed down from the control both. “You folks need something?”

  Lissette realized then that they were the only ones left in the arena. Empty soda and nacho containers lay scattered on the floor along with popcorn, beer cups, and ticket stubs. An event program with a boot print on it lay facedown in the mix.

  “We’re fine.” Rafferty raised a hand.

  “I need to shut things down.”

  “We’re moving on.”

  Moving on.

  Rafferty tucked her against him, ushered her to the door. They stepped out into the cool night air. Christmas lights twinkled from the streetlamps surrounding the coliseum.

  “I have to go load up Slate,” he said.

  “I can come with you.”

  “Kyle’s waiting.”

  “I have pastries to bake too,” she admitted. “Christmas rush. Too bad we had to come in separate vehicles.”

  “I appreciate that you took time out to come watch me compete.”

  “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

  They paused at the exit where the last remaining competitors were leading their horses out to the trailers in the parking lot.

  “Superpowers sure would be nice.” Rafferty reached up to brush a strand of hair from her forehead.

  “We have to live in the real world.”

  “Why?”

  “Because neither one of us are slackers.”

  “I should have cultivated a lazy streak, but I had too much to do.” His gaze never left her face.

  “I’ve been thinking about it. Developing a lazy streak.” She cocked her head.

  “You can’t.”

  “I know. Family. Obligations. Roots. That’s what we’ve both got, with several states in between us.”

  “And that’s not even counting guilt and shame and grief.”

  “Not even,” she echoed.

  He nodded. Somewhere a horse nickered along with the sound of trailer doors clanking closed and cowboys in muted conversation.

  Gone. This was it. Their time together. Gone forever. It had blown by so fast.

  She whimpered. No. Not more loss.

  Rafferty gathered her to him and kissed her for a good long time—at least a solid minute without stopping to take a breath. She unzipped his jacket, slipped her hands up underneath his shirt. His skin was so warm. He wrapped the edges of his down jacket around her, pulled her as close as two people could get with clothes on. They huddled together enveloped in the down cocoon.

  His supple mouth went back to hers. He tasted so good. Like Christmas. Too bad Christmas came and went so quickly. She felt drugged, dizzy with the flavor of him, like a kid jacked up on a sugar cookie high.

  This had to stop. It was torture dragging out a long good-bye. “Rafferty—”

  He cut off the rest of her words with his lips. She sagged into him. His hands rose to thread through her hair, holding her in place while he kissed her thoroughly, letting his mouth carry his feelings.

  They delved into each other, sending messages through their nerve endings, a physical love letter. Communication empty of words, yet deeper, richer because of it.

  Finally, they both parted at the same time, in mutual agreement, but although their mouths were separate, their gazes stayed fused. They stood enthralled, trembling, and deeply melancholy.

  “Do you think selfish people are happy?” he asked.

  “No doubt. They’re selfish. They don’t worry about what other people think or need from them.”

  “I’m jealous. I wonder if there’s a vaccine you can take that cures you from caring about others.”

  “Don’t think so.”

  “Maybe I should add that to my superpowers wish list.” He pantomimed pulling an invisible list from his pocket and jotting that down.

  “If you were selfish, Rafferty Jones, I wouldn’t admire you the way I do.”

  “Ditto, Lissy Moncrief.”

  “We’re damned,” she said woefully.

  “Pretty much.”

  “This stinks.”

  He laughed, but his eyes were sad. “In the words of my mother. Sucks like an Electrolux.”

  “I think she stole that from Stephen King.”

  “Actually, it was a failed advertising campaign slogan put out by Electrolux themselves. My mother said it so often—usually in regards to something I wanted to do, but couldn’t because I had to watch my brother and sister—that I looked it up.”

  “Look at you. All bookish and everything.”

  “I’m more cerebral than I look,” he teased. “Got books on my MP3 player and everything.”

  “Hank the Cow Dog?”

  “Now you’re just giving me a hard time.”

  “Louis L’Amour?”

  “You know me too well.”

  “Easy to figure. You have a romantic soul. That book of poems you checked out from the library was a dead giveaway.”

  “And look where that’s gotten me. Lovesick in the Lone Star State.”

  Lovesick?

  He might fancy himself in love with her, but this wasn’t love, Lissette told herself. They had compatibility, yes. They made good friends. And certainly the sex with him was amazing, but neither one of them was in a place where they could evaluate whether they were really in love or if this was simply a stopgap relationship.

  They filled each other’s needs for the time being. It wasn’t enough to base a long-term relationship on, and there were so many complications. Easier to pretend this was nothing more than mutual attraction. You didn’t change your life and upset the people you already loved for something you couldn’t be sure of.

  “You have to go get Slate,” Lissette said, spoiling the moment.

  It had to come to an end. Unfortunately, Rafferty couldn’t freeze time. From the Tex-Mex restaurant down University Drive wafted the scent of cumin, chili powder, and garlic. The aroma mingled with the horsey smell clinging to Rafferty.

  “And you have to get home so you don’t have to pay the babysitter overtime.”

  “Jones!” Cordy called from the back entrance. “You comin’ to get your horse?”

  “Be right there.” Rafferty raised a hand but never glanced at the man. His eyes were full of Lissette.

  “You better go.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “I know, but once you’re home things will go back to normal again and Jubilee will be nothing but a memory.”

  “No,” he said loudly, causing Lissette to jump. “That’s not true. You and I, we will always be connected.”

  “Because of Jake,” she murmured.

  “And Kyle. He’
s my nephew.”

  Were those the only reasons? Don’t play mind games with yourself, Lissette. It’s counterproductive. She stepped away from him, stuck her fingers in the pockets of her blue jean jacket, and curled her hands into fists.

  “Jubilee will never be just a memory. What we have—what we did—will never feel wrong.”

  “That’s a sweet thing to say, Rafferty, but you can’t make me any promises and I can’t make you any either. We don’t know how we’ll feel once we’re away from each other. Once everything returns to normal.”

  “Nothing is ever going to be normal again.”

  “Out of sight, out of mind.”

  “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

  “Familiarity breeds contempt.”

  “Are you trying to chase me off?”

  “I’m trying to give you the distance you need to make an informed decision.”

  “I get it. You’re scared. I am too. We’ll do it your way.” He reached for her hand. “Let me walk you to your truck.”

  Reluctantly, she took her hand from her pocket. This was just dragging things out. “I can’t take another good-bye.”

  “It’s not forever.”

  “It might be. It could be. We have to step away from this foggy cloud we’re under. Let our heads clear before we know if this is something substantial or just the effects of losing Jake and digging up the past and—”

  “Shh. Stop explaining.” He kissed her again, then took her hand and led her across the parking lot to her truck. “Give me your keys.”

  She pulled the keys from her pocket. He opened the door. Stood there while she got inside and started the engine. He kissed his fingertip, and then pressed it to her window. He gave her a lonesome smile, just before he turned and walked away.

  Chapter Nineteen

  It took everything Rafferty had in him to walk away from her. This was killing him. Tearing him into two pieces. He wanted to stay here, but he had a ranch and employees that he’d already been away from too long and he was homesick for his horses.

  But here were Lissette and Kyle and the promise of a whole new kind of future. Except Lissette didn’t believe in the feelings he had for her. Jake had gotten everything Rafferty had not. A father. A functional mother. A beautiful wife. A son. A home. A prizewinning horse.